


but, honestly speaking, getting a bad answer felt great.

by sismorphene



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Nitori is going to have a terrible evening and doesn't know it yet, Rin's life is going to be difficult for a while as well, Underage Drinking, self-indulgent party fanfiction, well almost all of them are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sismorphene/pseuds/sismorphene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka looked at Rin with fascination, coy smile in place. It was funny how Rin seemed to think how he understood the world and all of its problems as soon as he as much as sipped at something with alcohol in it. He really was lightweight. He would never confirm it for his life, though.</p>
<p>Haruka himself wasn’t really affected. He thought. Everything was just a tad bit softer, a tad bit wavier, a tad bit more... alive. Watery. He curled up and put his arms around his legs, continuing to watch his boyfriend getting far too serious with some dancing game for Wii. He and Nagisa were in a really intense competition. There again with the seriousness. Why was he so serious?</p>
<p>“Everything is so soft,” Haruka thought aloud. Makoto, who was seated at his side, looked at him with his eyebrows high upon his forehead, and laughed.</p>
<p>“Haru. I think you should drink some water.”</p>
<p>“Water.”</p>
<p>“Yes, water.”</p>
<p>“I can do water. Drink water. I’ll come back.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	but, honestly speaking, getting a bad answer felt great.

**Author's Note:**

> no. i couldn't resist. here. have a party fic. we all love them. don't say otherwise.
> 
> enjoy.

”Haru, hurry up. You’ve been in there forever, and we need to leave soon if we don’t want to be late.”

“I don’t have to dry my hair. Let me stay here for a while.”

Rin sighed, retreating from the showers to continue his own blow-drying. Agreeing to let Haruka join their practice had been a bad decision in many ways. For starters, he was extremely distracting (Rin pausing at the starting line to just stare made Seijuurou shout at him at several occasions) and additionally, it was impossible to get him to leave the water.

Later that evening, all of them, Samezuka and Iwatobi Swim Club alike, were going to a belated birthday party Nagisa was holding at his house. His family had left for a trip over the weekend, and had kindly enough let him stay home alone. They were probably very aware of the fact that Nagisa would take the opportunity and invite a lot of people, but let it pass anyway. Rin couldn’t care less. A party was a party. He wasn’t overly fond of them in general, but seeing Haruka drunk was always entertaining.

Haruka had, like most of the people in their little gang (with Rin as the exception), not been drinking for a very long time. Their partying was a pretty sporadic activity since they often were busy with swimming and families and the like, but, it did happen once in a while. And now was one of those happenings.

“Rin-senpai! We should be leaving soon!”

Aiichirou’s shrill voice pierced through the sound of Rin’s dryer. Incredible. He turned it off and shook his head to make the hair lie down like it wanted to. After a glance in the mirror, he concluded that wasn’t the way _he_ wanted it. Grumbling in annoyance, he began the battle versus his hair.

“Uhm… senpai?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m almost finished. You try getting Haru out of there, will you?”

His kohai nodded, returning to the showers to fetch Haruka. A minute later, Rin saw his boyfriend’s ( _wow. boyfriend. the word still was magic to him._ ) back in the mirror, changing into… another swimsuit? Jesus.

“Haru! We’re going to a _party_. I don’t think you’re going to be swimming there.”

Haruka just shrugged. “Your hair is poofy.”

Aiichirou giggled at this, as it was very true, and Rin gave both him and Haruka a venomous glare.

“Fuck you both. I’ll be waiting outside, Haru,” he said, pulling his hair up in a ponytail while walking with fast steps out of the locker room.

“I’ll go with you, senpai!”

 

Outside, the wind made Rin shiver when it blew through the fringe of his still damp hair. Which he had in a ponytail. Goddamn, it was going to look horrible later on. Ponytail not going anywhere anytime soon, then. Noted.

“Nanase-san really does love water, doesn’t he?” Aiichirou said, more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” Rin answered absentmindedly. “Where did the others go?”

“Oh, they tired of waiting… I think they went somewhere to eat.”

“Hah? Without us? Well I guess we can take something at Nagisa’s but… why didn’t you join them?”

Aiichirou averted his eyes. “I wanted to wait for you! I’m okay, really!” he added when he looked up again and saw Rin’s doubting expression.

“… Whatever you say. Just don’t die on me. And Jesus everloving crap what is Haru _doing_?”

“Ah, he’s coming now! I can see him.”

Rin turned and saw Haruka walking at a leisurely pace towards them, still toweling his hair.

“About time,” Rin muttered and started walking, without waiting for Haruka to catch up with them.

When they arrived at the station, Rin’s sour mood had begun to lift a little – Haruka jogging up to them and hugging him briefly but tenderly might have helped that process – and he was actually starting to feel excited for the evening.

On the train, he tuned out Aiichirou’s chatter as he usually did and leaned back, closing his eyes and counting on Haruka to tell them when they were supposed to get off. Nagisa’s house was quite far away, and he had only been there a few times. Haruka had been hanging out with them more, though, before Rin had joined their merry crew once again.

“Rin-senpai? Do you think that Mikoshiba-senpai will find his way on his own later?”

Rin scowled without opening his eyes and said, “On his own? He has the entire team with him. I think they’ll manage. Stop worrying so much all the time.”

Silence settled. Haruka was staring out of the window, leaning slightly against Rin’s shoulder. It made him warm from the inside out. How he could have lived without that warmth for so long, he couldn’t understand. He didn’t even care if they came off as cheesy to others. He deserved this happiness, he had decided. After all that destructive rivalry and jealousy that almost had destroyed him, he was finally happy.

So he smiled, content.

Beside him, Aiichirou was very still.

 

\---

 

“Haruuuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaan!”

A projectile made out of pastel colors and blonde hair hit Haruka as soon as they entered the Hazuki household.

“Have you been drinking, Nagisa?” he asked, attempting to remove the smaller boy who currently was hanging around his neck.

“Nah, not yet. We’ve eaten though! You’re late.”

Rin groaned. “Haru! I knew it! Everything is your fault. Goddamn. Do you have anything left? I’m not gonna be drinking without eating first. Shit’s gonna suck.”

“You know, you don’t have to drink, Rin. But it’s fun watching you get all serious and stupid…” Haruka mused. Nagisa laughed at this.

“Haru-chan is right! And we have food left, so no worries. Come here! To the kitchen!” Nagisa grabbed Rin’s hand, expecting Haruka and Aiichirou to follow them. “I’ve decided we’ll be telling scary stories later, Makoto can’t have an opinion on that, and we’ve got a lot of Wii games and we can play truth or dare and lots of stuff and…” Rin ignored Nagisa’s “Oh we’re going to have so much _fun_!” rant much like he did with Aiichirou’s, and instead focused on the pizza that miraculously still was left, even after Nagisa had had his share.

Knowing that Nagisa would be exactly as excited even if they wouldn’t be drinking made Rin relax. Having friends who’s fun to party with even without alcohol was something he had come to cherish. It hadn’t been like that in Australia. Or, one or two of them he might have considered real friends, but most of them had been very shallow.

Those friends weren’t.

Ah, those sappy feelings again.

Rin let them imbue him.

 

\---

 

With everyone seated in the living room, Rei went to stand in front of the TV and cleared his throat.

“Okay! Please listen! Everyone will have to keep track of their own alcohol. Ask first! Be nice. Please don’t throw up everywhere. If you have to, the bathroom is preferred.”

“Rei-chan, why are you setting the rules for my party?”

“Are– aren’t they good rules?”

“It’s common sense, stupid!” Nagisa stood up and joined Rei. “If you crash stuff, I’ll make you pay for it,” he smiled, unnecessarily widely, making the message very clear. “And if you make people sad, you’re out. And you have to have fun, okay? Those are my rules! Aaaand hereby I declare the party officially opened! I’ll choose the music!”

Some cheers were heard throughout the room before Nagisa blasted some happy pop music way too loud. Makoto was at the stereo in a second, lowering the volume, looking almost scared. Nagisa was on his way to find something to drink and didn’t seem to mind that people’s hearing was saved, after all. When Makoto noticed Rin looking, he smiled and came to join him and Haruka.

“Hi. I guess you’re drinking tonight? Just promise me to be careful, alright?”

“Makoto. Please.” Rin rolled his eyes high enough to hurt. “I’ll mix you something as well. Wait here.”

Makoto didn’t have time to complain before Rin had left him and Haru alone. That boy needed to chill copious amounts. Rin didn’t know if getting him drunk was the wisest choice (maybe he’d get even _more_ paranoid? Rin groaned inwardly.) but one could always try.

Currently, Rin was feeling really good. This was going to be great.

 

\---

 

Haruka looked at Rin with fascination, coy smile in place. It was funny how Rin seemed to think how he understood the world and all of its problems as soon as he as much as sipped at something with alcohol in it. He really was lightweight. He would never confirm it for his life, though.

Haruka himself wasn’t really affected. He thought. Everything was just a tad bit softer, a tad bit wavier, a tad bit more... alive. Watery. He curled up and put his arms around his legs, continuing to watch his boyfriend getting far too serious with some dancing game for Wii. He and Nagisa were in a really intense competition. There again with the seriousness. Why was he so serious?

“Everything is so soft,” Haruka thought aloud. Makoto, who was seated at his side, looked at him with his eyebrows high upon his forehead, and laughed.

“Haru. I think you should drink some water.”

“Water.”

“Yes, water.”

“I can do water. Drink water. I’ll come back.”

Rising up from the sofa ( _oooooohh wavy_ ) and picking up the drink Nagisa had made for him before, he went to the bathroom. This drink was great, he concluded after taking another sip. He should let Nagisa make him stuff more often.

(If Haruka had been little less cloudy, he probably wouldn’t have liked it. It was as sweet as Nagisa himself. Sweet and dangerous.)

Rin was terrible at making drinks. It was probably because he couldn’t handle liquor at all. He usually stuck to cider and sometimes maybe a beer. Haruka snickered to himself, and noticed that he was standing still. What was he doing again? Oh right. Water.

Water was always a good thing.

 

Water was the _best_ drink. Sweet lord. First love stays in your heart forever. He stopped in the bathroom for a while, contemplating whether to make use of Nagisa’s bathtub or not. Just as he had decided that, yes, it was a great idea, a knock was heard on the door.

“Haru? Are you in there? Are you taking a bath?”

“No,” Haruka muttered, picking up his hoodie from the floor. “I want to.”

“Haru! You can’t!” Makoto’s voice sounded really concerned from the other side of the door. Haruka figured his bath could wait, after all.

“Okay. I’m coming. Out. I’m coming.”

Waaaaaavy.

He opened the door and smiled at Makoto. “Hi.”

“Haru, you’re… unfocused.”

“No. I’m like water. Everything around me is like water. I’ll go to the others.”

“If you say so… I have to use the bathroom. Take care, okay?” It seemed Makoto hadn’t been affected by Rin’s attempts at getting him drunk, after all.

Haruka brushed him by, smirking a bit. He wasn’t going to the others. At all. He was going to the kitchen. Something there wanted to talk to him.

With determined steps, he hurried through the living room, pausing for a heartbeat when he remembered he had left his drink in the bathroom. He frowned a little, thinking over his options, and suddenly he heard Rin calling him.

“Haruuuuuuu. Baby. C’mere.”

This made him frown deeper.

“No nicknames.”

“Okay. Haru. Coooome here.” Rin was leaning over the sofa, clearly more intoxicated than he had been when Haruka left him. How long had he been in the bathroom, really?

“I’m going somewhere.”

“Yeaaaah. To me. Come here.”

Haru giggled, making Rin rise his eyebrows in surprise. Haruka slowly made his way over to Rin, letting the other one pull him down in a kiss. Rin tried to deepen it quite fast, moaning a little, just for Haruka’s ears.

Haruka had somewhere to be, though. Abruptly, he pushed Rin away.

“I’m. Going to the kitchen.”

Rin looked at him with glazed eyes. “Hah? Why? For a drink? Come back here quickly, then. Okay?” he said lowly, grinning with all his teeth showing. Silly boyfriend.

He giggled once again, continuing his voyage to the kitchen.

The kitchen sink, more precisely.

When he arrived, he just stared at the tap, finally turning it on, and continued his staring. Then he put in the plug, and watched the sink fill up totally. Beautiful water.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered softly, touching the surface.

Haruka was very content, and sighed happily.

 

\---

 

After Haruka had left, Rin couldn’t seem to concentrate on the serious discussion he had had before with some girl he didn’t know. What had they even been talking about? It had been something important. But it was not anymore. Where was Haru? How could he just leave Rin there with his heart beating and now uncomfortably tight pants? He was vaguely aware of Aiichirou getting up and leaving the sofa, but didn’t let the notion stay for very long. He had more pressing matters at hand. He had to find his boyfriend. And do something. Something.

He gulped down the last of his drink (which Rei had made for him. Tasted like shit. But then again, drinks almost always did. Rei’s drinks were at least beautiful.) and went to look for Haruka.

In the kitchen, he found Haruka in front of the sink, mumbling to himself. Was he… talking to the water?

Walking fast, he put his arms around Haruka’s waist, and ghosted his lips over the other’s ear.

“Hello. Are you being strange again?” When Haruka didn’t answer, he added, “… baby?”

“Stop that.”

“No. You don’t want me to. Really, you don’t.” He dropped his hands lower, tugging a bit at Haruka’s pants with one and letting the other one trace over his stomach. Ah, that stomach. He felt Haruka’s muscles tighten just the tiniest bit, and that sent a jolt straight through Rin’s body. He started nibbling at Haruka’s neck, just the way he know he liked it, desperate to get the other’s attention – which was still focused on the water.

“Haru. You’re cheating. Turn around.”

Haruka hummed, snickered, seeming to consider it, picking up on the challenge.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Oh, I think you know,” purred Rin. “First I’m going to kiss you and then I’m going to touch you and then I’m gonna–“

“Senpai! You’re an _idiot_!”

Aiichiro’s voice, coming from the back of the room, pierced through Rin’s hazy mind, and he hastily tore himself from Haruka.

“Ai? Wha–“

“You’re _stupid_!” His voice cracked at the last syllable.

“How long have you–“

Rin didn’t get to finish his sentence, since Aiichirou spurted out of the room after giving Rin the most heartbroken look he had ever seen. And he had hurt Haruka before, both once and twice and thrice and seen his fair share of sad expressions. Shit.

“Haru! How long had he been watching? Did you see him?

“Hmm. No. I heard crying, though.”

“Fuck.” Rin ran his hand through his hair. “What should I–“

“Hey, you, Nitori just dashed through the whole house and left! What did you _do_?” Seijuurou and Gou stood in the doorway, soon followed by Makoto and Nagisa.

“I just… I kissed Haru… I… don’t know?”

“Big brother, you’re an _idiot_. Nitori-kun has been in love with you since forever. That must’ve hurt him like a _lot_. Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed?”

A cold sensation filled Rin’s whole being as the realization settled. The alcohol in his system suddenly made him nauseous. Because it was the alcohol? Right?

“I… didn’t see him here.” He looked at Haruka, searching for advice. The other just gave him a stoic stare, except one curious eyebrow slightly risen.

“You should go after him,” Makoto said, very sternly.

“What?! Now?”

“Yes, now! Just go!” Gou all but screamed at him.

“Alright, alright! I’m leaving! Shit!” He threw Haruka a glance, and then leaned forward to growl in his ear, “I’ll make up for this later,” earning a shudder from the other.

Walking past the crowd, he made sure to shove at Gou a little extra, who yelped and almost fell over.

She shouted something angry at his back, but he didn’t listen. Whatever. She’d manage.

Quickly putting his shoes on without bothering to lace them, he went out and started jogging, trying to make himself look casual. After maybe five minutes, he realized he hadn’t really been looking, busy being angry about having to leave his boyfriend. Pulling to a halt, he reached down to pull out his phone and call Aiichirou… only to find it wasn’t there. With a groan, he remembered he had put it in his bag earlier. Which he had left in the house.

Well. This was gonna suck.

 

\---

 

Aiichirou couldn’t breathe.

In his mind, he was reviewing all the different methods he had learned during his years as a swimmer, but none of them worked. Nothing had made him feel this close to drowning, ever.

It had been a slow process, though, he realized.

From the start, everything had been fine…

No. Back. Scratch that. Nothing had been fine. Ever.

He had fought and fought for something that was never his. At the same time, the object of his affections had struggled with his own battle, trying to win over what, in his mind, _was_ his, and in the end he had succeeded.

Aiichirou hadn’t.

Slumping down on the ground in a park he didn’t know how he had ended up at, he tried to shove away all thoughts just to not faint because of lack of oxygen. After a while, his head halted its spinning, if only a little. Instead, the tears started again. Sad tears. Not panic tears.

Because now it was over. It hit him, there and then.

When Rin and Haru had made public that they were dating – something everyone had seen coming – Aiichirou had shut down for a moment. Then he had hardened his heart, and smiled. Smiled for Rin. Rin was happy. He deserved that. Aiichirou would help him in any way he could to keep him happy. If being his friend was the way Rin wanted it, then that would be the way Aiichirou did it.

Now, he couldn’t anymore. He had lost focus. Lost track of his own feelings. Got selfish. And ruined everything.

Just as he felt his breathing speed up again and panicky tears welling up, he heard a soft voice behind him.

“Ai? What are you doing there?”

Aiichirou sat still, face buried in his hands.

 “Why are you here, senpai?” His own voice felt foreign to him. It was cold. Why was it cold? It wouldn’t help anything. A sob shook his whole body.

“I came for you. You just ran off. Dunno what you were thinking of doing.” Aiichirou heard Rin move behind him. Probably running his hand awkwardly through his hair. “Hey, answer me.”

“What should I say? I screwed up. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, he was flipped around and met with Rin’s angry face very close to his.

“You. Shut up. You haven’t done a thing wrong. Or wait, yes, you have. You could have fucking told me that you’re _in love_ with me. Was I the _only_ one who didn’t know about that?!”

“Would it have changed anything? Would it really have made a difference?”

That seemed to catch Rin off guard, since he jerked back a few inches.

“If I had told you, you would’ve retreated. Pulled yourself back. I would’ve been a burden to you. And even after you and Nanase-san became… boyfriends, it wouldn’t have changed anything. You don’t change. You would have kept treating him the same way in front of me. Treating me the same way.” Aiichirou couldn’t quite grasp that he was being so bold, so he added for good measure, “You would’ve continued to ignore me, like you always have.”

Rin was quiet, his arms now hanging at his sides instead of clasping Aiichirou’s shoulders. Slowly, he sat down on the ground as well.

“I didn’t want this. I love you, Rin. I don’t want that. No one would want that. You don’t treat people well. Even I can see that. But I love you. I want to be with you. But you keep shutting me out.”

A good five minutes passed, with Aiichirou just staring at Rin’s face, before the other opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry.”

Aiichirou shrugged, turning his head away. When he looked up again, Rin had tears in his eyes. Immediately, Aiichirou’s irritation melted away and was replaced by worry. Wow, did he suck at being angry.

“Senpai? Rin-senpai? What is it?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

He hid his face under his arm, muffling his words a bit.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m a shit friend, I know that. You and Haru are literally the only two people who can put up with me. I can’t always see what’s in front of me. But I’m begging you now, don’t leave. I don’t want to be alone ever again.”

Aiichirou was paralyzed. This was another side of the emotional Rin he was used to seeing. This wasn’t the Rin of Angry Frustrated Tears. This was the Sad Rin.

What could he do but hug him?

“… I’ll stay. I’ll always stay, senpai.”

And with that, his heart hardened even more, and weighed even heavier in his chest.

He ignored it stubbornly.

 

\---

 

“So, now we’re here. I’ll be sleeping at Haru’s place. You have your keys, right?”

“Yes, I have.” Aiichirou smiled softly. “Ah, the train’s coming! I’ll see you tomorrow, Rin-senpai!"

Rin waved after the shorter boy as he dashed towards the platform.

Well.

That had been a strange evening.

Rin didn’t really know how tomorrow was going to turn out. At the moment, he was mostly just feeling tired. He had been all evening, really.

He couldn’t believe he had been crying. It was probably the alcohol.

He did feel sorry for his friend, though. And his words had hit Rin spot on. He was aware of the fact that he wasn’t a perfect person. He just chose to ignore it, normally. It was not anything he wanted to be reminded of.

Shaking his head, trying to clear his mind of alcohol-fogged thoughts, he started walking back to Nagisa’s house.

Back there, Haruka was sitting on the porch, with Rin’s phone in his hands. When he saw Rin, he got up and handed it to him.

“You forgot it.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” He checked the mail. Wow. Three from Haruka. That’s unusual. “Aw, were you worried?”

“You were gone for almost an hour. Of course I was eventually.”

“You seem much more sober now… you’re not as unfocused.”

“I’m not unfocused when I’m drunk.”

Rin laughed. “Keep telling yourself that. Should we head back to your place? I don’t feel like staying here.”

“Aren’t you going to tell the others?”

“Nah, I’ll fight Gou tomorrow. For now…” He pulled Haruka close, “I just want to be with you.”

“Hmph. I’ll just go tell Makoto we’re leaving.” He wriggled out of Rin’s embrace. “… Maybe you should text Nitori, as well. Just to show him you haven’t forgotten about him.”

Rin stared at Haruka with a nonplussed expression. Haruka? Telling him to text someone? How did he even know what they had been talking about? He must’ve used the psychic power that usually was saved for Makoto. Hm. That had to be it.

Nevertheless, he picked up his phone, sending Aiichirou a quick message.

 

To: Ai  
Sub:  
 _I hope you’re sleeping well. See you tomorrow_.

 

After less than a minute, he got his answer.

 

From: Ai  
Sub: :D  
 _I will be soon! Goodnight, senpai! ^ - ^_

 

There. That went well. Just as he prodded his phone back in his pocket, Haruka showed up with his hoodie and both their bags.

“Ah, great. Let’s go.”

Side by side, they walked slowly.

Rin knew that they were going to talk later. They did stuff like that nowadays. Talked to each other. It was a good thing to be able to do, he had come to realize.

But you had to choose your fights – or talks – just like with everything else. Rin was learning that as well.

And now was not the time to be talking about this.

It could wait.

Moving his bag to his other side, he snaked his arm around Haruka’s right one, who had his hands in his pockets.

Upon Rin’s intrusion, he let one of them out to clasp around the other’s hand instead.

The storm was over.

For now.

**Author's Note:**

> here is to straighten out some question marks:
> 
> 1\. alcohol obtained from nagisa's older sisters. probably.  
> 2\. yes they are at a typical party i don't know how japanese people usually party i'm so sorry (please just go with the flow and pretend it's like this with me okay)  
> 3\. the title is a translated line from markus krunegård's song jag är en vampyr.  
> 4\. there is going to be a sequel!  
> 5\. and a prequel!  
> 6\. please read my other fic it's way better than this wow
> 
> BUT THANK YOU FOR READING. ♥♥♥ comments, thoughts and the like are always appreciated!!


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